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    雅思英语9.0分范文分析。难度完全赶不上大学英语四级作文

    2021-01-05 雅思IELTS 26 ℃ 0 评论
    原文标题:雅思英语9.0分范文分析。难度完全赶不上大学英语四级作文
    本文摘要:之前,张老师给大家分享了一篇满分的雅思英语9.0分作文。今天,我们再来分析另一篇满分作文。相信大家通过对比两篇9.0分的作文,一定能够发现,满分作文也不过如此,而且还有许多规律可循。题干如下:It is inevitable that tr... ...
    本文关键词:ielts雅思九分写作,雅思ielts 9分听力mp3星火·2012雅思ielts词汇周计划
    正文:

    之前,张老师给大家分享了一篇满分的雅思英语9.0分作文。


    今天,我们再来分析另一篇满分作文。


    相信大家通过对比两篇9.0分的作文,一定能够发现,满分作文也不过如此,而且还有许多规律可循。


    题干如下:

    It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?


    毫无疑问,随着技术的发展,传统文化终将消亡。技术和传统文化难以共存。你是否同意这一观点?


    首先,张老师想说的是:题干中就有很多值得学习的短语:


    • It is inevitable that 毫无疑问
    • traditional cultures will be lost 传统文化终将消亡
    • are incompatible 不相容

    下面是针对这个题目写的9.0分作文:


    开头段 Introduction

    Some people believe that technological developments lead to the loss of traditional cultures. I partly agree with this assertion; while it may be true in the case of some societies, others seem to be unaffected by technology and the modern world.


    这个开头段,依然只做了2件事:


    • 第1句:引出讨论的主题(技术与传统文化)
    • 第2句:给出观点(折中式观点:一些文化会消失,另一些不受影响)

    给观点的时候,很多人认为只能支持一方,反对另一方。事实上,在雅思英语作文中,完全可以给折中观点(部分支持,部分反对)。这时,我们可以使用“while 句子A, 句子B”的句型表达折中观点。


    值得学习的搭配:


    1. lead to the loss of traditional cultures 导致传统文化的丢失
    2. partly agree with this assertion 部分支持这一观点
    3. to be unaffected by 不受影响
    4. in the case of some societies 在一些社会
    5. While 句子A,句子B 虽然A,但是B
    中间段Body Paragraph 1

    On the one hand, the advances in technology that have driven industrialisation in developed countries have certainly contributed to the disappearance of traditional ways of life. For example, in pre-industrial Britain, generations of families grew up in the same small village communities. These communities had a strong sense of identity, due to their shared customs and beliefs. However, developments in transport, communications and manufacturing led to the dispersal of families and village communities as people moved to the cities in search of work. Nowadays most British villages are inhabited by commuters, many of whom do not know their closest neighbours.


    段落分析:


    • 第1句:中心句(技术导致传统消失)
    • 第2-5句:举例支撑中心句(一个例子,其中2-3句话说明工业革命之前的英国人生活方式。而4-5句话则描述了工业革命之后的生活方式,形成了鲜明的对比)

    可以看到,整段话,就使用了例子来支撑中心句,并没有使用传统的首先(Firstly)、其次(Secondly)、再次(Finally)来给出不同的支撑理由。


    但第2-5句话并不仅仅是简单的罗列例子,而是采用的“比较”的方式,来对比技术发展之前和之后,英国人的传统生活方式的变化情况。


    事实上,通过“对比”的方式扩展段落是一种非常值得学习的方法。常用的对比方法有:


    1. while A, B
    2. compared to A, B
    3. A. However, B
    4. A. In contrast, B

    在上一段中,值得我们学习的,且与文章主题有关的(Topic-related)英语搭配有:


    • the advances in technology 技术的进步
    • have driven industrialisation 驱动了工业化
    • contributed to the disappearance of traditional ways of life 导致了传统生活方式的消失
    • generations of families 一代又一代家庭
    • a strong sense of identity 强烈的身份认同感
    • due to their shared customs and beliefs 因为共同的习俗和信念
    • the dispersal of families and village communities 家庭和村落社区的分散
    • moved to the cities in search of work 搬到城市找寻工作
    • villages are inhabited by commuters 村庄里居住的是在城市里上班的人
    中间段Body Paragraph 2

    On the other hand, in some parts of the world traditional cultures still thrive. There are tribes in the Amazon Rainforest, for example, that have been completely untouched by the technological developments of the developed world. These tribal communities continue to hunt and gather food from the forest, and traditional skills are passed on to children by parents and elders. Other traditional cultures, such as farming communities in parts of Africa, are embracing communications technologies. Mobile phones give farmers access to information, from weather predictions to market prices, which helps them to prosper and therefore supports their culture.


    段落分析:


    • 第1句:中心句(在一些地方,技术不影响传统)
    • 第2-3句:举例1(亚马逊雨林里的原始部落 - 打猎生活方式未变)
    • 第4-5句:举例2(非洲部分地区 - 技术促进传统农业文化的发展)

    这一段,也是通过举例论证中心句。


    由此可见,在雅思英语作文中(其他考试作文也一样),完全有理由采用举例的方式来扩展段落。


    值得学习的英语搭配有:


    • traditional cultures still thrive(=grow) 传统文化仍然繁荣发展
    • have been completely untouched 完全不受技术的影响
    • continue to hunt and gather food from the forest 继续在森林里打猎、采集食物
    • are passed on to children 传递给小孩
    • are embracing communications technologies 拥抱通信技术
    • give farmers access to information 让农民获取信息
    • helps them to prosper and therefore supports their culture 帮助他们去的成功,并促进其文化的发展
    结尾段 Conclusion

    In conclusion, many traditional ways of life have been lost as a result of ( = because of ) advances in technology, but other traditional communities have survived and even flourished(=development).


    结尾段依然只有1句话:重复在开头段里给出的个人观点


    对比第一段的观点句,大家应该发现,尽管观点一样,但必须用不同的方式来表达。


    2个段落扩展方法

    从上面的例文中,我们可以总结如下两点扩展英文段落的方法:


    1. 举例法:可以列举1-2个例子来扩展段落
    2. 对比法:通过对比变化前后的区别,来扩展段落

    无论采用何种方法扩展段落,都要求大家为每段话写“中心句”。


    此外,作文用词不一定要高大上,但必须是与主题有关的词汇和短语,即话题词汇(topic-related vocabularies)。


    大家从这篇范文中学到了哪些知识呢?


    欢迎留言讨论。


    #英语# #雅思# #考研# #出国留学# #托福#


    本文作者:明恩英语,转载本文请注明作者出处~

    标签:ielts雅思九分写作

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